I must have been having some weird dreams last night, because I woke up this morning in a massive panic, thinking "Holy shit how did the universe come to exist why am I here HOW did we all get here how do I really know I exist is it all an illusion where the hell did we come from?!" And then I went back to sleep. But now I keep having panicky little "Where did the universe come from?" moments and they freak me out. I have to stop thinking about it before I make myself insane.
On a less metaphysical but equally scary note, I just checked out my financial situation (bank account and credit card) and I am now sufficiently traumatized. I've only got 41$ left to survive on until the 29th. Fortunately, most of my Christmas shopping is done, and I only need a few small things. Which is good, because if I needed anything else, it wouldn't be happening. I have spent nearly 1000$ on Christmas! It might actually be more than that by the time I am totally done. I am in more debt now than when I came back from Europe. It makes me feel like I am making negative progress.
The only good thing about this is that it motivates me to get a better job than the one I have now. It is absolutely impossible to pay off my credit card in a reasonable amount of time if I am only working retail for 8$ an hour. I need to be doing something more lucrative. As soon as Christmas is out of the way, I am going to hunt down something else.
So, life is not so fantastic right now, as all I do is work all the time (and make very little money to show for it). I am stressed out at home, and still haven't seen anyone in more than a month. Some things to look forward to though: Christmas Eve Eve party on the 23rd, going out with Jason on the 27th, Dan coming to visit me on Jan. 17th for two weeks!
I can't believe I've been home for nearly two months. Time is going SO fast.
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